+ 0 - 0 | § ¶girls retreat 2005!
This weekend I went on the girl's retreat up at the Great Wolf Lodge in Traverse City! Very fun! We drove up Sat. morning in a huge bus and played fun "bus games" with Lisa! All 70 (give or take a few) of us descended upon the GWL around noon and we all gathered for instructions in the main lobby which is strewn with stuffed bears, wolves, etc. We got to our rooms and had the lunches we brought and got to know each other a bit better. I roomed with my Tami, Courtney and Dawn and 2 girls from our d-family (B.A.M!), Kiri and Christine. We had a session and played a fun game to get to know each other and to get instructions for the weekend. Then we had free time! Some people went to the indoor waterpark while others went to the "spa" we set up in Angela and Judy's room. I did a TON of toenails! For all of you who know how much I don't like feet let me just say that I was a servant! It was a great way to get to know more of the girls though! There was a foot bath, facials, massages, hairstyling- lots of fun and relaxing stuff!
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶talk without speaking...
This is not one of my most stellar pictures- notice all of the telephone lines and off-centeredness of the picture, however, the flaming red tree is GORGEOUS!!! I nearly stopped on the side of the road numerous times as I drove today b/c the colors were so amazing.
Anyway, the name of my blog: Karen and Juanito and I were trying to come up with something clever, not too informational, yet very me. After many rejected names (I can't even remember any of them- most were so dorky!) we thought about a lyric from a U2 song. We looked up one of my very favorite ones, "Running to Stand Still". One of the best lines says, "you've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice". I love it. Bono sings it so well too- his voice is just perfect for that line- it's incredible. So, talk without speaking seemed to fit well with the whole concept of a blog, and that's that.
Wanna hear more? Click on!
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶more music...some misery...and a little melodrama!
That's me at Bono's house in Ireland!
Let me begin by saying that I fully believe in storing up treasure in heaven and that I have everything I need to be perfectly content right now. But I don't feel it. In my famous childhood words, "I want that!" Actually, I think that's found in the Kickball nooma too. Maybe I should watch it again. Oh, woe is me, I'm soooooo sad right now. I can't believe I'm not at the Palace. U2 is playing there tonight. I can't believe that any tickets left for any show happening anywhere in this country are, like, anywhere from $180-$700. I'm not going. That crushes a part of me. Is that wrong? I'm sure it is, but I just really can't believe it. I've been holding on to this hope- I don't know where I thought I'd get tickets, really- but I'm not going. Oh.
I have a similar sinking feeling, like I did when I chased Bono through the Dublin airport only to be to chicken to say anything to him. I really want to meet him. And the Edge. And Larry. Even Adam. It's not only about the music. This is a band that I've gone through so much life with.
I remember renting Live at Red Rocks when I was about 13 and watching it over and over again. (Ok, seriously- that was 20 years ago!!) And then renting it again the next weekend.
I remember my first U2 concert. It was my first concert ever, really. I begged my parents to let me go. They said yes!!! It was the Joshua Tree tour at the Pontiac Silverdome and I was a freshman in high school. I went with my friend, Mary and her brother and some seniors. I'll never forget the feeling of being in the same room (granted, it was a HUGE room) with Bono and the boys for the first time. There was so much energy. There was such a diverse crowd too. And when they did "With or Without You" I nearly cried for joy and unity in the place. They brought us all together.
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶music
That's a picture of a leaf that I took this weekend. I love fall!
I also love music. It is one of my passions. I don't sing well or play an instrument, but I totally respect people who can. I listen to music a lot- I always have. I used to pride myself on my vast knowledge of music from the 80's- I guess I still kinda do :) I remember playing an 80's trivia game with friends and impressing them with my ability to answer about 90% of the music questions instantly. Some of the people I've connected with the most in this life have shared this passion of music. I love mix tapes (now cd's, I guess) and have a plethora of them from various time periods in my life. I can listen to one and I'm immediately swept back to the past. Sometimes that's good, other times not so much. I can't hear an Aerosmith song without thinking of Laura! Wild Boys by Duran Duran (my former obsession!) reminds me of air guitars with Jeannine! I have a song for every boy in my past, perhaps more depending on the length of the relationship. Some make me smile, others make me cry. Songs in church sometimes make me feel like heaven is so close. I have angry music, melancholy music, inspirational music...there's really music for every mood. And, music has been known on way more than one occasion to be pivotal in modifying my mood- for better or for worse. Anyone who says that music doesn't effect them is either in denial or lying.
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶friendship...
It is super late and I just spent the last few hours hanging out and talking with a few of my friends. I love being able to be vulnerable and share my heart with people that I know will accept me for who I am. And then I checked my blog and discovered that dear Sam has written! So, I found a picture of us from last summer- the last time I saw her- and decided it needed to be posted. I am so thankful for the friendships that I have. It's true that there are some who are farther removed from my day to day life than others, but I love them just the same. And to quote from a book that I've been reading..."When you part from your friend, you grieve not: For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain." It's actually a quote from Kahlil Gibran in Henri Nouwen's book, Reaching Out. That's not to say that I am happy to be apart from kindred spirits, but I affirm the truth in that quote. The point Nouwen is making is this, "We are always in search of a community that can offer us a sense of belonging, but it is important to realize that being together in one place, one house, one city or one country is only secondary to the fulfillment of our legitimate desire." Oh, just read the book- it's really good! Anyway, I celebrate friendship tonight. The friendship I find in my city, and the friendship I find across the country, and around the world. I am exceptionally blessed with an abundant number of friends who I consider to be soul mates of a sort. Some I talk to every day and others I talk to every few months, and still others maybe only once or twice a year, if that! But when we talk, we truly connect. We pick up where we left off. We know each other well and still love each other deeply! That's just amazing if you really think about it. So many people try to hide from authenticity. I have. But back to Sam...last summer I saw Sam for the first time in a few years, I think. We met back in '95 out east and served together at His Mansion. I'll never forget getting to know Sam and learning how similar we were and how that drove me crazy sometimes, but ultimately taught me a ton and allowed our friendship to grow into something really cool. Sam is one of the most authentic people I know. Last summer we sat and talked with some other friends and Sam just poured her heart out to us. Honesty oozed from her. I remember thinking, "wow." and loving her more for her courage to share. I felt honored and privileged to be in that room at that moment. She let me in to her struggle. I want to become more and more like that. I do wish we lived closer so I could just pop over and have tea and talk into the wee hours of the night with her. I miss not knowing her kids. And then I think of others that are far away and I haven't connected with them in so long either. Maybe some of you are reading this right now! Know that I love you and that I do value your friendship. We don't have to talk often to know that what we have is real. Friendship is such a gift. There's a song by Sara Groves that says, "...and I wish all the people I loved the most would gather in one place and know each other and love each other well. And I wish we could all go camping and lay beneath the stars with nothing to do and stories to tell. We'd sit around the campfire and we'd make each other laugh, remembering when..." That is a glimpse of heaven in my opinion. I have a screensaver on my computer that is a slideshow and I have so many pictures of all of you, family and friends, that smile at me every day. If I don't have an up to date picture of you, send me one! It's a good way to keep you close! Anyway, thanks for writing, Sam! And Jeannine, and Laura, and Stephanie...and I could go on and on! I guess this blog is doing what I hoped- re-connecting me with people who are important to me! Thanks for caring about me. And if I'm a bit long-winded or sappy or whatever, cut me some slack- it's 3:30am!!! Goodnight!
+ 0 - 0 | § ¶flowers, friends and lots of cake!
Today is my birthday! And it is my cousin's daughter's (my 2nd cousin?) birthday too! Happy Birthday sweet Jane! I woke up and had rainforest nut coffee (since it's a special occasion) in my birthday mug that Diana made for me last year! Went to work and was given flowers and cake at our weekly team meeting.I met Diana for lunch at Schuler's and had my favorite tomato basil panini! Returned to work to find a box in my office. With beautiful flowers in it! Thanks mom and dad! Worked the rest of the day and then raced to Grandville to meet Tami and Courtney at Max and Erma's for dinner. One of the very few places I'll eat a cheeseburger! Then we had more cake! Rushed to d-group and was wished happy birthday a ton! There was more cake, but I couldn't possibly eat any more so I took some home for breakfast tomorrow! Had a great time with my dear friends and sweet girls and the best co-leader ever! Left there and went to Karen and Juanito's! I love them! Even Houston got to stay awake to sing to me and watch me open presents!
So that was how I spent my birthday- busy, but full of fun! I also received a lot of phone calls and e-mails wishing me a happy day! Thanks! Also, I was gonna post some fun pictures of me as a baby and young child, but my computer is being sort of whacky! Maybe I'll do that tomorrow!
+ 0 - 0 | § ¶yard work party!
This is a before picture of my yard:
Here are a few more.
Here is an after picture of the same yard:
And some more after.
So, how did it get this way, you ask? Did extreme home makeover come and demolish my yard? Sort of! The answer is...I have tons of loving people in my life who gave up their beautiful Saturday morning to come and work on my yard! It's truly unbelievable. This is community over and above what God intended, I think! I could cry just thinking of it.
Here are some of the pictures of people working their tails off! Ashleigh, the wonder girl; Bonnie and the huge bush she pulled out of the middle of my yard; Juanito and Mark strategizing; Karen pulling weeds; Houston and Katrina taking handfulls of weeds from Karen and throwing them out; Tami, Courtney and Heidi attacking the very overgrown fence area in the way back; Amanda and Tamra yanking vines and clearing the jungle-esque growth. And then there was Keith, raking and making sure the yard waste bags were sturdy and full; Karla and Diana doing massive amounts of work, including watching the numerous children who were also quite helpful! Here are some more pics of the kids! My dad worked like a madman; Stephanie showed up and was full of energy and ideas; Amy tore out so many of the "picky" weeds that her sweatshirt was absolutely covered in little burr-like things! There was a ton of wood that emerged when we tore up the weeds- Juanito and Mark began sawing it up and it became firewood for my friends! This was full within the first 20 minutes so we kept filling yard waste bags: here's the final result. You can't tell, but there are 18 bags there!
Meanwhile, my mom was in the kitchen making a yummy lunch and we all enjoyed it like crazy! Here are a few more pictures of everyone working! Here are some of the berries which were everywhere in my yard and stained more than a few people bright purple! And finally, remember dear Ashleigh? My sweet d-group girl who worked like a maniac ALL DAY? Here's the sweet card she made for me! Not!
Anyway, it was a great day- I feel incredibly loved and thankful!
Hey- I've heard that some people don't know to click on the bored yet link- do it!
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶fancy...
This picture is courtesy of Karen! I modified it a bit. She took it last night at the Nooma fundraiser. It was a fancy affair- I'm not a very fancy person generally. I really did enjoy myself though- there were fun "nooma" blue gumballs everywhere! We mingled for a while- Jettie and her house church were there, along with some others I knew. I was invited because I volunteer for Nooma- not as much anymore now that I work days- but it was cool to be included. They shared some of where Nooma is headed- it's really exciting how widely they are being distributed! Then they showed Noomas # 12 and # 13. Nooma #11 isn't even released yet! They were great, of course! If you don't know Noomas, check them out here.
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶finally...reflections
I took this picture on Saturday afternoon as I was laying in the grass reading. I noticed the grass and thought it was beautiful and amazing. I do stuff like that sometimes. In fact, I can get really caught up in details. Sometimes a good quality, sometimes not so much. Anyway, as I believe I mentioned in the previous post, this weekend was challenging. Spending time soul searching is a good thing, but can be really revealing and thus, incredibly difficult. I was forced to face some hard truths about myself. I've been fighting with God about why I don't have this or that or why my life always seems so hard, why can't I be more...or less...you name it, why can't He just give me a simple answer and when I finally get it, why isn't it what I wanted? Whine, whine, whine. This is the perfect time for my dear friend, Diana, to haul out the famous, "You just need to be thankful" speech. She wasn't around this weekend, so I read myself the riot act. It's not the same. That just made me feel like more of a failure, and so I kept on spinning. I fought the lies and then fought some more and then believed some and tried to keep fighting. Nothing is ever simple with me. I spent some time on Sunday afternoon with Karen- she let me cry and talk and she laughed at me a little, then shared her heart which is surprisingly (it shouldn't be surprising) like mine. She had gone to church in the morning and warned me with a giggle that I might not like the teaching so much that night. Which of course meant that it was just what I needed to hear.
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶this past weekend...
So here's a rundown of my weekend: Friday night was full of fun- we did DDR (dance dance revolution- here's Jettie doing it!) and then were entertained by Sleeping At Last. Very cool. Poetic. Sorta melancholy! The bass player was especially good and I was pretty much enthralled. Here's Amanda, Annie and me with the band. On Saturday morning we had some sessions and listened to some awesome talks about leading our students well. I love being a part of student ministries! I felt so encouraged and challenged.
Saturday afternoon was fun- it wasn't as cold as predicted, but I still opted to stand on the sidelines and take pictures of mega box wars. For those of you who don't know what that is, here's the deal: It's divided into 2 parts: First, the making of the Mega Box. Each team gets 2 moving boxes, a roll of duct tape and some spray paint. They are supposed to decorate and reinforce their boxes- this year the theme was school mascots. The second part is where it gets interesting. There is a large tarp which is wet down and soaped up and they also put some weird jello-type stuff which does something but I'm not exactly sure what. Then each team makes their way to thier assigned spots around the tarp. The teams have people on either side of the tarp, on a diagonal ususally, and the object is to make it across the tarp, switch runners and go back. All at once. Sort of like a relay. With boxes over most of your body. You get the picture. It was fun to watch! Here's Amanda and Amanda. At one point, I was taking pictures and all of a sudden the box of doom was running right at me, with no intention of stopping. I froze and just screamed. Someone moved me and then stopped and turned the box around. Those around me thought it hilarious. I'm still a bit traumatized. Did you see that scary box?
Saturday evening we had some time to take inventory of our lives and then we met together for worship and communion. It was good. We sang the song that makes me feel like heaven has come to earth- Revelation something. It's so reverent and joyful all at once. We also sang I surrender all. Grr...I just don't like that song. I don't know how to surrender sometimes. I feel like we always sing that when I most need to surrender and am fighting doing so. Grrr, again. Played some ultimate bingo and went to bed with a really bad headache.
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶more to come...
Hi everyone- it's been a few days since I've written and I now find myself with a lot to say! But not enough time, just yet. I had a really good weekend at the retreat and I have a bunch of great pictures to share. Beauty is everywhere if we look for it. I've also had a lot going on in my mind and have been learning or re-discovering some things that I really want to share. Last night I intended to post, but was just way too tired after way too little sleep this weekend. This morning I started sorting through pictures to post and realized I no longer have time to do justice to what I want to write. So, this is a small preview to tempt you into reading later! I have some AWESOME mega-box war pictures!
+ 0 - 0 | § ¶retreat...
Today I worked my last half-day-Friday for a while. I'm leaving in an hour or two for the leader's retreat up north at Timber Wolf Lake Camp. It's a Young Life camp and can hardly be called a "camp"! It's a great place to be and they always pamper us like crazy on retreats!
We will have a concert tonight by Sleeping at Last- never heard of them- but apparently they've been touring with Switchfoot recently. Tomorrow we will have great fun with Mega Box Wars which I will explain more when I return with more pictures, I'm sure! Anyway, just wanted to say hey for the day and tell you to tune in again on Sunday night when I'll be bursting with stories!
+ 0 - 0 | § ¶dark mornings...and more smushing
I'm waking up earlier and earlier, which might account for my aforementioned tiredness, since I'm not really going to bed any earlier. Today I woke up at 5:00am. And promptly killed a centipede in my bathroom. It's becoming routine, really. And then I couldn't go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and fluffed my pillow and tried counting the legs of the dead centipede. Hee, hee, I'm just kidding! So, I figured I'd do something useful. I did some dishes, made coffee, put away clean clothes and then began my morning routine of pilates, shower, send a few e-mails and then head to my front porch to read and journal. When I first started my new job and decided that a morning routine was a good idea, it was light out at 7:00am. Then, slowly it stayed dark longer and I shifted my routine so I'd go to my porch at 7:30. Well, today at 7:30 it was still dark! So I plugged in my christmas lights and decided to head out to my porch anyway, because I like it so much. I felt very exposed with the dark outside and my cozy little lit up porch. Oh well, the time change is coming soon, right? Will that make it lighter earlier or not?
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶tiredness can kill...
That picture is from Scotland- notice the cars on the other side of the road? :) I'm tired. I even got 8 hours of sleep last night. I'm still tired. Tonight was Reunion- the time when all of our d-group families meet at the church rather than in our individual homes. We sing and listen to a teaching and have fun. The message was about being lost and making choices to follow the right path. It was good. Reflective. We read some Psalms, which I just love. We also sang some U2!
Ok, I just keep yawning and really need some sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more interesting.
+ 0 - 0 | § ¶wildlife...and coffee
Can you tell what that is? It's a spider carrying a dead fly! On my door!! In my house!!! Gross. This was taken before I smushed it :) There wasn't really much left after I smushed it, thus no "after" picture. The fun never ends.
Today I went and had coffee with my former roommate/friend, Keren. I saw her many wedding pictures (I had to miss her wedding because I was in Scotland for Gilly's wedding) and caught up with her a bit. Karen and Juanito took Keren's wedding pictures and I must say they did a fabulous job! I'd recommend them highly!
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+ 0 - 0 | § ¶dust in the wind...
I really like that song...you know...by Kansas. It's so melancholy. I'm listening to it right now. Violins are soothing and sad all at once. Again, with the stringed instruments. Jim J. , a friend from my time out east, wrote another verse to the song. I wish I could remember what it was. It brought a bit more hope than the original. Tonight I hung out at Karla's. I really like having my evenings free to be with people. As Diana and I were leaving, her phone rang and it was our wee, Scottish pal, Gillian! It was "half two" in Ireland (where she now lives b/c she married Tommy, who's Irish!) Anyway, I just love her and it was good to talk with her briefly. I feel excessively guilty though because I still haven't put together her wedding book. I took her pictures back in June! Part of it is that I want it to be really great. I need to have the creative juices flowing and lately I haven't felt too creative. I just need to do it, really. But not tonight.
+ 0 - 0 | § ¶Happy Birthday Diana!
Today is Diana's birthday! I forget how old she is- I used to consistently think (or pretend to think) that she was a year older than she really was. Now I just know that she's a little older than me, but not much. She's still really young at heart :) So, Diana had some of her friends over for dinner which she cooked- it was yummy! And she made this incredibly beautiful and tasty trifle! Instead of having a second helping of the trifle, as most everyone else did, I found myself craving another bite of chicken! I think my body was crying out for protein! We sat and talked and enjoyed outside, until the bugs got to us. Thanks for sharing your birthday with us, Diana!
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